Where Commentaries Go To Die
WARNING: This story is more then likely going to offend. It contains heavy amounts of sexual and violent content. Also, this fanfic is a joke. Do not take anything in it seriously as none of this is to reflect the actual people that these characters represent........so it's all in good fun, thank you for being reasonable.....also....I'm sorry....I'm sorry for everything you're about to read. __FORCETOC__ 'Chapter 1: The journey begins' Rion "Rhino" Mills wakes up after having hot kinky sex with AzumangaDaiohFan, he smiles at his lovely wife and says "So Azu, am I the biggest man on campus!", Azu smiled at Rion and he cuddled her, meanwhile Ernie was sucking Rion's dick while Rion was kissing Azu passionately, Rion and Azu looked down at the dick sucker and saw Zerarick giving Ernie anal, all was going good until Jacob and Lightish came in and stared at the four. Zerarick stopped and turned to Jacob, he then stated "For the record...I was getting paid for this." Jacob grabbed Rion and Azu while Lightish dragged Zerarick and Ernie and the two threw the sex crazed commentators out their door,and onto their front lawn. "Get the fuck off my property!" Jacob yelled at the naked invaders, Zerarick snapped his fingers and his suit appeared,Ernie's eyes widened "DUDE! How did you do that?!" and Zerarick chuckled,responding with a simple "Fucking satan powers, bitch!" and Ernie was confused, in response to the Gokaiger's ignorance, Zerarick snapped his fingers and demonic claws shot out from the ground and tore away at Ernie's flesh, Ernie's screams could be heard echoing as the arms dragged him to hell. - 2 hours later - Ernie dug himself from underground,he found himself in the bathroom of Rion's swag-filled mansion, Ernie brushed the brimstone and ash from his tattered clothes,Ernie wore his Gokai Silver uniform but lost his helmet while fighting Zerarick's father in the depths of hell, Ernie spun that bastard of a father's pitchfork around his fingers and laughed. "With these new found hell powers, I should be able to inact my revenge on Zerarick!" Ernie was taken back when he realized the shower in the room was on, he saw the shadowy figure of Dirtbikeredden show through the curtain.....Ernie just walked out and in the hallway,he bumped into Kiriyawave (also know as Midnight Anubis) ''Chapter 2: Ernesto's Bad Furday Ernie stared at Wave, first out of fear then out of lust. "Do you mind?", Wave asked honestly annoyed with this sentai shit, Ernie's eyes sparkled with desire as he looked at Wave's charming facial features. "Umm....who are you", Ernie said trying to play it cool and calm. Wave was puzzled, "Dude, outta my way! I gotta run an errand for my sister." Ernie's eyes sparkled with delight as he jumped up. "Oooookay then?" Wave said confused. "WAIT?! you have a sister?!" Ernie shouted confused and surprised, Wave laughed "Dude...you don't even know my name" Wave said still chuckling, Ernie stopped and pondered, and was immediately knocked out cold. Ernie woke up tied up to a chair,he saw a rather large, darker skinned woman in front of him. "Sooo who are you? Where am I?" Ernie asked, puzzled by his scenario. "Look here buddy, I'm Ponder Sprocket...I got tired of waiting for you and Tim Drake to shut up so I decided to take the time to knock you out cold...now your hear cus it's funnier this way" Ponder said before gracefully sipping a cup of tea. Footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs, a blue haired male in a dark hat came downstairs,he turned to Ponder then to Ernie then back to Ponder. "So...what have you gotten out of him?" the slender boy said in a rather womanly voice,Ernie had many thoughts running through his head,but before he could say anything the slender....person came up to him and held a gun under his chin. "Look here Ernesto..." they started saying "It's Ernie..." Ernie interrupted,then the slender person smacked Ernie across the face "BITCH! I'LL BITCHSLAP YOU AND LIVE UP TO MY NAME!" the slender person said,Ernie looked up and asked one question, "What's your name?" Ernie asked. The slender person looked at him, "My name is Galeforce.....for the sake of this little beat down,you shall refer to me as "mistress of pain" and you shall be called "bitch"...you got that?" Galeforce said forcefully, as if she enjoyed this a bit. Ernie looked confused, then raised an eyebrow, "Wait......bitch?" Ernie said confused,Galeforce smacked Ernie with her gun again "BITCH! SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Galeforce shouted,Ponder put her hand on Gale's shoulder "Girl....calm down" Gale looked at Ponder, then took a deep breath "Okay....Okay....." she looked back at Ernie who's helmet was broken,and on the floor as his face was battered, beaten, bloody, and other b words that describe hurtful actions, Galeforce and Ponder looked at the nearly dead Ernie and look at eachother with evil smirks. Chapter 3: And Wave thought they were gonna rape him Ponder and Gale tackled Ernie, he screamed bloody murder as they cut him open and began to pull out his organs,Galeforce ripped out his liver and fed it to Ernie, his screams muffled by his own bloody organ,a bright light flashed and then Ernie woke up in front of a pearly, white gate. "Where am I?" Ernie asked,Derterifii approached Ernie "You're in front of the gates of Heaven" Derterifii looked at Ernie obviously annoyed. Ernie looked at him, "What's with the long face?" Ernie asked, Derterifii looked at Ernie and then snapped his fingers. "What did you do that for?", Ernie asked, but before he could get answered he fell through the clouds and back into his torn corpse, Ernie shot up,his wounds suddenly healing. "What the fuck did I just do?" Ernie asked, Derterifii's voice rang in his head, "Dude...I really don't wanna go into a lot of paperwork so I threw you back on Earth and gave you a second chance at life", Derterifii's voice said before disappearing. "Alrighty then" Ernie said, he snapped his fingers and then ran upstairs. Ernie opened the door and saw Zerarick in his demon form feeding on the corpse of Skihound, Ernie looked at Zerarick as he ate him. "Hey motherfucker....I thought I sent you to hell?" Zerarick said chuckling like he was truly Adachi. Ernie quickly closed the door and ran back downstairs. "HOLY SHIT!" Ernie said scared, scanning the basement for another way out, Ernie saw the shadow of someone in the corner, the silhouette approached him. "Hello there Ernesto" a familiar voice said,as it approached him, it revealed to be a red-headed anime pretty boy. "Dynamo?" Ernie said surprised, Dynamo snapped his fingers and a door appeared "Go through here...I'll fight Zerarick" Dynamo said as he pulled his sword out and headed upstairs, Ernie was going to ask where it'd take him but...Dynamo had already left to kill the demon. Ernie went through the door and fell through a purple and black light Chapter 4: The part where it gets fucked up....hopefully'' When the light faded, Ernie saw a clear white room and he saw a completely white room with only a chair and a mirror in the room.....Ernie sat in the chair, leaned back, and chuckled. "Dude....this is the fucking life, I could get use to this.....sitting alone....in a chair.....by myself.....I guess this is like a Zerarick Saferoom Bunker thing..." Ernie said to himself, he quickly became bored.. "UGH! I'M BORED!!!!!" Ernie groaned, he looked around and noticed the mirror. "Huh?" Ernie stood up and looked into the mirror. "Hey there good looking!" Ernie said, holding his helmet in his hand and checking his reflection out. Suddenly, the mirror shattered and Ernie was sent flying into a wall, when he looked up he saw his attacker.... "Hello there Ernie......we meet again...." the attacker said as they crawled out the mirror frame, Ernie looked up. "No....it can't be?! it's impossible!?" Ernie shouted - TO BE CONTINUED - Category:Fanfic